Me and Tobey just talked really quickly after class tonight and I just mentioned to him that I might be really naive, but I really don't focus on a person's skin color. I mean i notice that they are Black or white, but I don't think any less of them! I don't know...maybe this is just me, but the whole discussion tonight left me kind of sad to think that there really are situations that look more at a persons skin than who they really are.

betsy, i will confess that before this year i looked at skin color a lot. i'm not prejudice by any means because i never had any particular thoughts when i noticed skin color. it's just the fact that i noticed it and it was immediately what i saw in a person. i'll be honest and say yes, i used to be that way. that includes my first two years in college, which is when one would think people before more accepting of diversity and kinda don't even notice it anymore. well i did!

but this year, since i've met trece and she and i have become so close, i really just look at her now and don't see anything related to color. it's just so very hard to explain because when i was first getting to know her, i still saw her color. but then at some point, it just went away. i think it might have to do with the fact that i became really comfortable around her and we can talk about anything - even related to race. i mean, she's pretty cool about things, as you might have seen tonight. and i think maybe when i became comfortable to talk about anything with her and not feel like she was judging me was when i quit seeing color and identifying her by color.

and i think that may have worked on a more general level because now when i walk across campus i don't think, "white guy, white guy, white girl, black guy, etc..." as i pass people everyday. i just don't see it anymore. and more importantly, through trece i've made a lot more black friends but they're not just "black" friends. they're people - trece, jennifer, chill, travis, taurean, gerald, etc... (and the list goes on - and yes, there is actually a guy we're friends with named chill, but that's only his nickname )

but one time i do admit to still seeing color is when i walk into the welborn cafeteria around lunch time on any given day and see two tables of black students - one at the front, and one near the back. in big groups like that, i see the color because it's also a definite grouping of culture, too. granted, this relates to something melvin was sort of talking about tonight. these two black tables are actually called by the black students as "the football table" and "the track and basketball table." the two don't really associate, believe it or not. segregation among a minority race - who'd of thought!? but anywho, it's just a coincidence that all those athletes are mostly black. i mean, it's an obvious fact - nothing i'm just making a mountain from. but it is very interesting to see the groups among the minority in college. don't get me wrong, it's not like a forbidden thing for a white football player to sit at the football table. no no, that happens all the time. but they definitely sit at the other end. so when i, a white girl, walks right up and sits in the middle of the black end of the table, i get a few weird looks. and when that happens, i become conscious again and notice race. i'm sure that if anyone has walked into welborn cafeteria at lunchtime, they've noticed the "black" tables. it's just a natural thing to notice a big group of people that stick out.

so in my long-winded way, i've basically said that yes, noticing race still exists, which in some cases leads to racism. but in other cases, people have become comfortable enough with themselves and their thoughts that race isn't even visible anymore. but in another totally different way, even if race isn't visible on a one-to-one basis, sometimes it can still be noticed when a big group of people of that one race congregate and make it very noticable. does that make sense? i hope so.

Casey i know exactly what you are talking about, and i too notice walking on campus if a person is black or white, but i'm saying that i don't think any less of them because of their skin color. I also notice the "football table," and there are a lot of black guys there, but i don't think of it as the "black table" i think of it as the "football table"

And i know, there maybe a small percentage of people that feels the same way, but at least it is becoming more and more common in our age group of adults.

Of course we as humans are going to notice if someone is black or white, it is just our human instinct, but that doesn't mean that one of them is greater than the other. that's just how i see things....i've just never seen it as a power issue at least in my perspective, but it is being used this way still, by other people in this world!!!

oh and by the way Casey, tell Trece thanks for coming to our LONG class tonight, i really enjoyed her being there!

Thank you Betsy. It's really sad that we even have to have these discussions in class. I just wish that everyone would stop putting so much emphasis on race. I know it's something that people notice, but people also notice that i'm a blonde. Why does it have to be so different?