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 Gay marriage and Kids 
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I read the conversations on gay's and adoption. I was curious to hear what your thoughts are regarding children who are adopted by homosexuals. I remember hearing some people say that they disagreed with biracial couples having children because the children are the ones who suffer in those relationships. What are your thoughts on children with gay parents? Do you think that these children suffer or do you think this is completely different?

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Melissa Call made it


Thu Mar 25, 2004 1:20 pm
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i guess some of this can relate to the whole masculinity issue that was brought up with the boy article, too. if a homosexual couple adopts or has a child, regardless of what sex the couple is, their child will miss out on a parent figure of the other sex. for example, if two lesbians have a child, then that child will miss having a "masculine" figure in his/her life. but when you look at the perspective of the boy article we read, it seems society focuses too much on masculinity. so would it be that important for a child to NOT have a father figure? it's something really complex to think about and i have no "final" beliefs on the issue. its just all very bizarre to me.

you can look at it in another way. if a child of a homosexual couple grows up to be heterosexual, do you think that child might have issues BEING IN a heterosexual relationship when all he/she has ever known is the love between two people of the same sex? and on another level, personally, if i were the child of a homosexual couple and i grew up to be heterosexual, on some level i think i'd have issues that somehow i'd be betraying my parents by not being homosexual too. i know its a touchy subject and i dont mean this to offend anyone. its just a true thought ive had in my own mind and on my own level when thinking about issues like this. all kinds of family issues could arise.

you can take it to the biracial child issue too. i have a second cousin who is biracial, so i know a little bit more about that subject. a child grows up biracial - two parents of two different races. lets put it on the simplest of levels - black and white. when that child grows up, if he/she has a relationship with a black person, wouldnt that seem like a slap in the face to the white parent in the aspect that that child was somehow disregarding his/her "white side?" does that make sense? do you think stuff like that pops up in realtiy? i mean, when it comes to the children of these diversity issues, it's really hard to know where the answers are. b/c there really arent any right or wrong answers.

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Casey McKnight


Thu Mar 25, 2004 2:26 pm
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Casey, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I find a lot of issues with gays over my head. I do think that there are issues with biracial kids and parents. I just wonder to what extent being biracial affects children? Do they have problems deciding which race to live like? That may not make sense. I'm just trying to get an idea of the affects of these situations.

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Fri Mar 26, 2004 1:59 pm
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Do any of us get to choose our parents?

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Rebekah Smith


Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:05 pm
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How about this- I have some friends ( a gay, white male couple in their 40's) who adopted a 4 year old black boy. Now chew on that for a minute & think about what you would think of the 3 of them walking down the street. The fact is that the little boy is loved more than any child I have ever met. They completely adore him & he is actually part of the reason they are still together. It's one of the most loving homes the child could be in, not to mention he's OUT of the orphanage or temporary child care that he was in. He loves his parents & they love him very much too, but many people would not agree that this is a family. I stand by what I said in class- You can't choose who you love, and I really don't think you should be penalized & kept from having a family just because there arent two different sexes in the home. I mean how many single parents are there in the US? Is it better to have a single father or mother, or perhaps TWO mothers or TWO fathers? Hmmmmm.... :roll:

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Fri Mar 26, 2004 7:03 pm
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I'm glad this subject has come up in other posts! I have a friend from
Atlanta (Shane) who was raised by a lesbian couple. His biological father was the vice-president of a bank and his biological mother was -get this-a school teacher. In any event, Shane was abused by his father so much that social services took him away when he was 7. He stayed in foster care for 2 years until he was adopted by his new lesbian parents. Shane couldn't have been happier to be in his new home-his moms loved him and he understood all about their sexuality. He said that he used to get made fun of in middle school, but after a lot of the kids met his moms in high school, they let him know how cool his parents were. I don't know-he has just told me a lot how fortunate he thinks he is for falling into these peoples lives. By the way, not that this is of importance, but Shane is straight. Gay, straight,-I don't think it matters. Kids are going to face issues, and by avoiding these issues all together, changes will never come about. I used to get made fun of for my religion, and I believe that that's only made me stronger and hopefully more open-minded.


Sun Mar 28, 2004 6:51 pm
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I too wonder if the child will have issues with race or sexuality by being raised with parents who are biracial and/or homosexual. I personally have nothing against equal rights for all couples including those that choose to have same sex relations. Parenting is a tough job and even some heterosexual parents do an awful job at raising their children. I think it is all about the parenting. Whether a heterosexual couple of homosexual couple, you must raise your children to respect themselves and others and I dont think the sexual preference of the parents would really affect the child.

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Corrie Williams


Mon Mar 29, 2004 10:19 am
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I think it goes back to what LeighAnn said about getting the child out of the foster home/orphanage. There are so many kids who need good loving homes that I don't think it matters if they have a mom and dad or two moms or two dads. If they can love and support a child and raise them to be responible human beings it doesn't matter theri sexual perference.

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Ashley Bagwell


Mon Mar 29, 2004 8:10 pm
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I am so glad to hear the stuff that everyone is saying. I feel that the most important thing is that a child or children have parents who love them. I do not care if they are black, white, purple, green, gay or straight. A parents love is all that should matter. Like someone said before, there are so many children who do not have loving parents or even homes at all, so I think there is a more important issue than the sexuality of the parents.

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Amy Greer


Tue Mar 30, 2004 8:57 am
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I have really enjoyed reading all of your replies. Thanks for your thoughts. I did think about one particular response in depth. Someone said I don't think it matters if they have a mom, a dad, two moms or two dads as long as they have loving homes. The only part that I question is: Do the children have difficulty because of their home situations? I personally think so. Children without a father/mother in the home are at a disadvantage. I struggle with what's is best for children. Working at the school, I work with children with all sorts of home situations and I can tell a difference in children who have both parents in the home as opposed to those who have only one.

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Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:28 pm
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I have strong feelings about this. As a Christian I have to say this: God created Adam and Eve. He did not create two Adams or two Eves. He created Eve for Adam. I feel that children are the ones that suffer when it comes to Gay Marriages or adoptions. Personally, I feel that if a child can't be raised by his/her father & mother then they are better off being raised by a single parent, rather than two moms or two dads. I just completely disagree with Gay Marriages and I feel sorry for the children in those situations. I realize everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion and beliefs...but this is mine!


Tue Mar 30, 2004 4:34 pm
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ok, so i've pretty much read each post in regards to the gay marriages and have a few comments. first off, if a child is raised by two homosexual parents, how are they at a disadvantage or how would they be confused about their own sexuality? i truly do not believe that everyone in this class does not know or, let alone, does not have a friend who is gay or bi. casey, you said something in regards to them missing out on the father/mother figure depending on which couple is raising them. sorry, but since when did having homosexual parents suddenly throw this family into a bubble where they won't ever know an uncle or family friend to give them this figure? also, someone said that they might be confused of their sexual preference, but the majority of the people you see being affectionate are heterosexual couples. so in my mind the child is just being raised more open minded and more willing to experiment. i have known many kids who haven't come out until they've moved out of their parents home for fear of their parents disowning them. now, i'm sorry, wouldn't it be better for a kid to come from two homosexual parents who teach him that a person is a person regardless of their gender and learn to love who he wants, or having that kid come from a single parent home where he or she has to pretend to be heterosexual until they are on their own for fear of their parents? also, not everyone is christian and if you are going to be teaching in a school system, please remember the seperation of church and state. i know that some people say that they are not accepting of homosexuality in general but wouldn't hold that against anyone. but, sorry, i'll be damned if that is not going to sit in the back of your mind and somehow affect those that you encounter. whether you are solely more quiet around them or maybe you don't stick up for them when they are called a fag down the hallway, your thoughts and opinions will affects your reactions. now, wanda, you said you are a strong christian and do not believe in homosexuality. now if i'm thinking of the right person, i believe you have children (i could definately be wrong though). now, just out of curiosity, how would you react if one of your kids came up to you and told you that he or she were homo or bisexual? and also, would you rather a kid grow up in a heterosexual crack house with abusive, drug ridden parents or in a loving homosexual household...really what is better for the kid in the long run? to wind up constantly abused, a dealer at 11, and dead by 15 ... or to be open minded and maybe picked on by classmates? also, in regards to being picked on .. the majority of kids throughout elementary, and especially middle school, are teased about something, whether it be something true or a rumor ... more than likely everyone has been picked on. it sucks at the time being, but i strongly believe in what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger ... this kid who is picked on is only learning (in the long run) that he is a better person than those around him b/c he has learned to be open minded and more accepting ... and really, excuse my language, but who the fuck gives a shit what somebody else thinks? if you know who you are and like that person, that is all that really matters ... right? now, please if you have something to disagree with me on .... go for it, i'm definately open to hear other points of view, b/c all i know is what i've learned.


Tue Mar 30, 2004 6:58 pm
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Kaelyn, Obviously I have offended you by my previous statement. My intentions were not to offend anyone. However, I will not appologize nor backdown from my beliefs. First of all, I never said that I think Homosexuals are BAD PEOPLE. I have friends and a family member that is Homosexual. I still love them, they are good people, but I disagree with their lifestyle and they know I disagree. As far as being prejudice toward my students I would never be. It is not my place to judge anyone, but yet I do not have to agree with their lifestyle as one may not agree with mine. You asked me a question concerning my children and what if they were to come home one day and tell me they were Homosexual. First of all, I pray that will never happen. But, if it ever does it will not take away from the fact that they are still my children and I will always love them no matter what. But, what would happen if every man chose to be with a man & every woman chose to be with a woman? My point is there would be no reproduction. It's not intended to be that way. But, once again everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions.


Tue Mar 30, 2004 11:08 pm
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This conversation reminded me of a quote my gay mom's friend once told me, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." I think this is sort of what Wanda is talking about. As long as we can really see past the "gayness" & treat everyone as individuals ... I dunno... I could go on a really long tangent here but I'm just going to say I agree with Kaelyn & that contrary to some Christians' beliefs there are MANY ways of viewing this issue without damning all gays to the firey pits of dispair!

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Wed Mar 31, 2004 1:00 am
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ok, addressing the subject that is a little closer to the top of the list. I think that is a great idea for ANYONE to adopt. Wether it be gay lesbian straight black white...you get the picture. I think it's not fair to say that the child will be missing out on the "other gender roles" What about single parents? Are all of those children missing out on the other half of the spectrum???

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Wed Mar 31, 2004 11:33 am
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Wanda, I share your thoughts. It sounds as if your beliefs are the same as mine. I think it's like someone else said we need to love the sinners and hate the sin. I think Kaelyn could definately express herself without using foul language. I mean we are adults and we should be able to communicate our feelings without resorting to cursing. We are going to be educators! We can discuss topics and give each other our thoughts without being rude. I think this topic is very difficult for those of us who are christians and believe the bible and it's teachings. I fully understand that there are other religions and even sinners who have a belief all of their own. I think that it comes down to what is best for the children. I think that when a gay couple gets married, knowing that they will not be able to have children--that is a sacrifice that they should be willing to make. There are lots of couples who would love to adopt. A lot of kids who are in drug homes don't spend their lives in those homes. Someone finds out and some type of intervention takes place. I'm sure some homosexuals are drug abusers also. Not all homosexuals can offer a loving home to children. Drug abuse is everywhere.

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Wed Mar 31, 2004 1:23 pm
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I have a lot of differnt feelings about this situation! i mean i know that if the child is treated well and if it feels loved that it shouldnt matter who its parents are but in todays society it does matter. I know that it shouldnt bet that way but i think that it will always be that way. I think that the child will suffer in the fact that if its peers found out that its parents were of the same sex he WILL get made fun of. Thats what kids do, and i really dont see that ever changing. Its sad but true. Especially in the younger years because the kids will not understand how they have a mother and a father and their classmate has 2 fathers or 2 mothers. I just think that it really hurts the child to be brought up in school becuase of how cruel kids are these days.

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Kelly Ann Ellis


Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:08 pm
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There are some many children out there that need a loving home. I think it is very selfish of people to say that there are only certain people that can adopt (aside from a home that could not provide for the child financially). I have been fortunate because I have had both parent there for me and I could not imagine what life would have been like if someone hadn't been there for me.

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Sarah Gentry


Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:16 pm
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i was never intending to offend anyone with my foul language or my opinions; however, i do feel, seeeing as we are all adults, those words are part of the english language and do sometimes provide a type of emphasis in certain discussions. and yes, i am going to be an educator, but i recall learning all of these words when i was in elementary school. i dont know, perhaps i just hung out with the wrong crowd, but i think i (esp. considering i'm going to be a high school teacher) will encounter these words daily and should be mature enough to realize that they are words and that is all. oh also, getting back to the point of this response .... i was never saying that homosexuals are never drug users and that children who start in a drug abusing house will remain there. i was just trying to get my point across that i think a loving home in general (homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, transgender, etc) is better than an abusive home or just a general poor home. and not every home is always intervened. i grew up 2 houses down to, whom i now refer to as, crack-head suzie. i was friends with her 2 daughters that were around my age. even though my parents and other neighbors had called the police on her on numerous occasions for different instances (noise, possible assault/abuse, drug use...etc.) her kids were not taken away until they were 13 and 14. i had lived next to her since i was 5. and i think even then it was there choice to live with their dad because they did see their mom whenever they pleased. so, i always think of that when i encounter a home (good vs. bad) situation. definately 2 homosexual parents who were completly loving would have been the better situation ( i think probably anyone other than crack head suzie would have been).


Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:29 pm
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Kaelyn, I guess I'm just not use to the language that has surfaced in this discussion, but seriously there are better words to use. I understand that this language is in highschools and even elementary schools. I just want to be a good role model for the kids and I want them to know that these words may not be the most appropriate way to get a point across. Also, as educators, I think we must care what others think of us to some degree. We must have the respect of the students in order to educate them.

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Melissa Call made it


Thu Apr 01, 2004 7:08 am
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