hmm, just five? okay, i'll try to think and then list the first five that pop in my mind.
1 = my nephew,
alex, & my two nieces,
katie &
alana. alex is 7, katie is 2, & alana is 2 months old. i love them, of course, just for them. they bring so much joy to my life and any time i find myself bogged down by the world of adult worries and strife, i just take a couple of hours to play with them. the absolute innocence that they exhibit is remarkable. and even though i might think the world is a dark place now, i look at their faces and see the good that can come from generations of the future. in another aspect, these kids taught me to be maternal. i mean, i've always cared about people, but when alex was born, i was only 13. from that point on, i've always felt a pang in my heart when i see children of any age. i even feel a little jealousy pain when i see pregnant women! the fact that i genuinely cherish children so much comes from my initial contact with alex, and then later katie & now alana.
2 = books...odd, huh? i'm a huge bookworm and can now find pride in saying that. i can look in a book and read about anything. if i'm depressed i can read a happy story to brighten my spirits. if i'm a little too cocky, i can read a sad story and be humbled. anything can happen in books! so i find my hope within thousands and thousands of pages everyday!
3 = my writing...i love to write. i have several different journals and notebooks for different kinds of writing. my own writing gives me hope because i can say anything and not have to hear back about it. a cool exercise to try sometime: if you're ever really mad at a person or simply feeling some emotion you just know you can't express face-to-face with that person, write them a letter about it. you don't even have to give it to them. just write it! and don't sugar coat anything! say it like you're thinking it! it really helps to balance and define emotions sometimes. and if more people were able to define their emotions at times, then the world would be a more hopeful place, right?
4 = my parents. they've always encouraged me and been proud of me no matter what. my mom is quite a popular person in the town i come from so when people find out i'm her daughter, i want to know that i'm representing her well - in other words, i want to make her proud. my dad is a recovering drug addict (he's been clean my whole life) but i always long to succeed in so many things that i know he never had the chance to do. it's one of the best feelings in the world for him to hug me, kiss me on top of my head, and just tell me how happy i make him. it almost makes me want to cry just thinking about it!
5 = andrew! you didn't think i could leave him out, did you? but no seriously, in all honesty, he's the one person who's seen a lot of sides to me and he's stuck by me. i won't put our whole relationship out there, but to make a long story short, we've been together almost 5 years so there's a lot to go through and live with in that amount of time. and better yet, we made the transition to college together, which, even though we were together, was difficult at best. he's truly an inspiration to me and to be even more sappy (as if i hadn't already), he really ties in with my whole maternal side. i have hope for the generations of the future, and in my own case, with andrew by my side i know we can have bright and hopeful children as well! i have hope and faith in myself to be a mother and i know andrew will be a perfectly supportive husband and father. awwwwww! (i know that's what you're thinking
)