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Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 7:01 pm
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I was just wondering...
My worst fear is the bad parents. My problem is I have real hard time holding my tongue when I am around parents that just don't care about their children. How have you handled bad parents?

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Melissa McNeilly


Wed Aug 04, 2004 3:59 pm
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Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 7:03 pm
Posts: 25
Location: Yancey County Schools
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If I had a nickle for every problem parent I've had to deal with!!! There are all kinds of problem parents and I have had them all. Parents need to be informed of relevant issues concerning their child, but they don't need every single detail about their child's day. Some parents are on the opposite end of the spectrum and don't seem to care about their child at all. I think the most efficient way of negotiating the problem parent land mine field is to set your rules quickly and stick be them regardless! I love my students and I have some wonderful parents, but it just takes one or two mess up your entire year. If you're "wishy-washy" on anything, especially in the beginning, the problems will snowball and you'll find yourself eating lots of snow. Again, on the other end, I try to encourage a parent's seeming of lack interest in their child by interacting as much as they will allow.
You'll be able to negotiate your parents when the time comes and you'll so great because I think you have the soul for teaching.

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Denise Marlow


Wed Aug 04, 2004 4:51 pm
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My brief list of advise on how to handle parents in general:
· Document every encounter with a student, more than once
· Be sure to inform a mentor, a principal, and other teachers
who have or are teaching the same student
· Investigate information on the student in advance, if possible
(backtracking is okay)
· Call parents in a timely fashion
· Focus first on the positives about the student, even if the
parent already has a negative attitude—you must take control
of the conversation/situation soon
· Politely ask the parent for their observations and advise on
how to handle the student in the future
· Try to establish some common ground with the parent. It’s
always helpful they know you are an imperfect human who has
similar challenges in life
· Be calm, be calm, be calm!
· Develop a tough exterior; don’t take things too personally, but
do personal reflection and make adjustments
· If possible, meet with the parent and another objective
colleague or administrator

The main thing is, don’t treat parents like friends or family. Treat them like business professionals until you get to know them.

I had one parent to curse me out because she said I didn’t let her know soon enough how poorly her daughter was performing in my class. I reminded the mother I had taught her son the year before and never had problem with him; and I reminded her that the progress reports sent home by the students show how well they are performing. Once I was able to diffuse the situation calmly, the mother left in better spirits and even sent me a greeting card apologizing for cursing me out at our meeting.

Simply put, I reflected on the situation, and now I make it an effort to contact parents as soon as possible and even call them from home at night or on the weekends. I know it sounds like a hassle, but going the extra mile now will keep you from going into the courtroom later. Parents like to sue school systems for just about anything these days.
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Charlanda Ollis


Fri Aug 06, 2004 9:55 am
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