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 Parental Problems 
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I was at church this Sunday, and one of the members is an assistant principle at a middle school in Raleigh. He mentioned a student who lives with his mother (the dad left when the child was 4). The student is very disruptive in class, but the mother is abusive and neglectful. The student also has not had glasses for over a year, and cannot see well enough to do the work without them. His mother refuses to allow the phone to be reconnected because the school keeps calling to ask her to come in for a conference, or to speak with her son about his behavior. She has also refused to come to the school for any reason for over 2 years. The principle hesitates to expell/ suspend the student, because he knows some abvout the home situation, but can do nothing about it. Social Services has already gotten involved, to no avail as of yet. What could a teacher do to help?

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Amy Middleton


Mon Oct 25, 2004 7:43 am
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Seeing as how pretty much all efforts to work the mother have been exhausted, I think the only thing a teacher could do is to spend as much quality time with the child as possible. I think that the child is in dire need of parental guidance and positive attention. Although I know how hard it can be, I think any time spent outside of class (before or after) would be beneficial to the child just to have some sort of positive role model.

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Justin Stagner


Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:02 am
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I agree with Justin, it seems the child is only looking for attention. I know a similar situation, and all the child wants is some positive contact with an adult or even a child his age. Students that live in a single family home often do not get the attention they deserve so they turn to their teachers or school for that positive attention they are lacking at home.
As a teacher, I would do my best to stay with the child before and after school to give that child one-on-one attention that he deserves!

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Katie Houser


Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:36 pm
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I believe with what has been said already. The mother obviously isn't going to be any help and has cut herself off from being any help. It would be interesting to know what social services are doing in this situation since the boy seems to have great neglect. This child needs a lot of one on one interaction and to be shown that he is important and what he does matters to someone else. He needs to be shown that someone cares about him and help develop a trust between this teacher who has some concern for him and the child.

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Kimberly Winecoff


Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:10 pm
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Isn't there some kind of program that helps students get glasses for free? Anyone know anything about it?

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Mary Carmichael


Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:53 pm
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I think that in a situtaion like this the teacher should go out of thier way to show love, patience and understanding to this child. While i feel that the kid here is 100% innocent in the situtaion something has to be done. You said that social services are involved but nothing is happening, i woudl persistantly keep on them till they did something. Also i would recommend a home vist with the principal or assiastant principal to the childs house and have a serious heartfelt talk with the mother. Its a bad situtaion but the child shouldnt half to deal with a responsibility like the one he is having to deal with.

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Telena Snyder


Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:37 pm
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Positive reinforce definitely comes to mind in regards to the child's situation and acknowledge any and every positive behavior that the child does. That si where, I think, the change will begin if the child understands when he is behaving appropriately, he is rewarded which can then transfer to when he does his work on time, he himself feels rewarded. In terms of the mother, I'm scratching my head on this because I can't think of anywhere else to turn besides social services. The only thing I could come up with, is, bring the much needed conference to the home. Both teacher and princpal go to the mother and approach her with a plan for her son. Bring to her some of the child's talents and strengths and that these strengths can grow stronger if such and such is done. In regards to her abusive behavior, maybe the schools guidence consoler can get involved.

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susan meadows


Sun Nov 07, 2004 6:44 pm
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Just to give you a heads up about Social Services, they probably aren't doing anything about the situation. This summer I was the Assistant Camp Director at a YMCA Summer Camp. There were instances we had to turn children over to social services, but they wouldn't do anything about it. It is really sad that children have to live with parents like this. As a teacher, I would make school his "safe" place to go. If he knows that the school is someplace where he will be protected, then give him the attention he needs. If he gets postive attention rather than negative,he will be more cooperative and maybe social services can step in and get him out of it.

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Elizabeth Cooner


Wed Nov 17, 2004 7:50 pm
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