The more I thought about our topic of conversation today, the more i was confused. Do children really know at 6 years old that they are labeled as "the kids that arent going anywhere." Have they really already been exposed to the mindset that says "when someone compliments me it's because they expect I won't do any better?" Lisa said that the comment the african americans made about writing was shocking to her. And I said that I didn't think it effected children as much as adults... but i'm really beginning to wonder if they aren't as naive to bias as we think...

Let me know what you guys think.

As a special education major I know I will encounter children who have labels, but I think the way the child takes compliments and views themself has to do with what that child has been told. If the child has a learning disability the child's attitude will be very different if you tell them that they just have another way of doing things than if you tell them that they don't learn the right way and will never be successful. I don't think that children at that young of an age would take compliments the wrong way...but you have to make sure that the compliments you give are sincere, and that you're not just looking for little things you can say to the child just to make them feel good about themself.

I think that 6 yrs old can be a little extreme. But that's just my opinion. I know that at 6 yrs old I didn't have a care in the world about 'where I was going' or 'if I was going to make it.' All I cared about was playing, friends, cartoons, etc. I think that a more reasonable age would be around the age of 9-10. In my personal opinion, I think this is a more reasonable age for children to start realizing social class and to start realizing a label. For me, it was about this time that I started realizing social class and labels. But then again, Im just speaking for me personally.

Yes "it" can begin as early as age 6 if not earlier. Personally I lived a carefree childhood in a neighborhood where it was ok to still play outside after dinner and I had tons of friends who were different and I did not really understand the differences in people. However as I grow older I see that the childhood I had is not necessarily normal. My dad is a first grade teacher in Wake County. His students are a mix of affluent suburban children and inner city Raleigh extreme poverty. Working in his classroom has taught me to be surprised by nothing. His students (most age 6) are worldlier than I could have ever imagined. He has had to deal with harassment, extreme violence and unacceptable language between his students. My dad is a male in a female dominated arena; therefore he gets a lot of students who are lacking "male influences" in their home lives. Because of this, he once had a student (a 6 year old) who had seen his teenage brother die of gunshot wounds. In that same year there was a child of high level SAS employees who thought it was normal for families to fly to Paris and London for the weekend, because that is what he had always known. I don’t mean to scare anyone; I just want to break the illusion that children are innocent and don't understand the world. Young children understand more than we want to give them credit for.

I agree with Lisa and Meghan on this. I do think that children this young can understand biases and that some people around them are different than they are. Children are not as naive as we think they are. But at the same time, I think it all depends on the way the children have been raised. If their parents have warned them before they go to school that they are going to viewed as different because maybe they don't have much money, then the child will already have that idea in their head. But if the parents have raised the children to believe that they are equal to everyone else then I don't think that will understand biases at the age of 6. They will find out a little bit later on in life. So this is just my opinion, but I think maybe a lot of it has to do with the parents and what the parents have taught the children.

I think Katy's right in saying that it depends on how the child was raised. I know when I was growing up, I always tended to reach out and befriend the children that were sort of 'outcasts' in the classroom because I had always been taught to be nice to everyone. As I grew older I could sense that there were some kids my family was somewhat uncomfortable with me playing with, but I still didn't understand why. I was never told to stop being friends with any parituclar child, and I was nearly in middle school before I really understood anything about social class, even though it was present among my peers. I guess all I'm trying to say is that a child's background really does have a lot to do with his or her perspective.

I agree with Katy and Mandy also. Along with the parents warning the children I believe it is also how the children were treated by their families. I believe that a child who has had lots of loving at home is going to feel more comfortable in the school setting and with compliments. If a child has not been shown loving at home and has maybe been mistreated then I can see how a compliment would offend the child. The child might be use to being treated badly and it doesnt matter what another 6 year old tries to say the child might think it is a bad comment.

From working in an afterschool care program children really do know what is going on around them. They know when they are being ignored by other children, and disliked. Because they are being disliked they think..."what is wrong with me" "why dont people like me". As a teacher it is going to be hard to face these questions from children.

I believe that children can be socially biased as young as 4 or 5 years old. The way a child is raised in the home and outside influences can really affect their views socially even at such a young age. My sister is now 23 years old and has my niece who I think is one of the most adorable people on Earth. My niece is of mixed race. Her father is African American. My other sister is now 8 years old. Four years ago my sister started dating BJ and my family went through the worst kind of emotional uproar we have ever faced. My father, raised in a rural country South, is a racist. He never approved of my friendships with other races, was very upset that two of my best friends were black and hispanic, and went beserk when he found out I was going to be godmother to my best friend Shena's baby (his name is Kavante and he is another adorable person) simply because he wasn't white. My sister moved out of the house to move in with BJ my father flipped. He tore up every picture of my sister, said she wasn't a part of this family anymore, called her every sort of name possible, said she was going to hell, called me up repeatedly to tell me all of this, emailed her and told her all of this. IT WAS AWFUL. There is a lot more, but that isn't the point of this response. The worst part was that my other sister, 4 at the time, was viewing and listening to all of this. The fights my father and mother had were just the basic no-nos for her to hear. MY FATHER WOULD SIT MY 4 YEAR OLD SISTER ON HIS LAP AND HAVE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HOW SHE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE BLACK NOR MARRY PEOPLE WHO ARE BLACK. He constantly used racial slurs in her presence. I know this affected my sister and she retained it because another one of my friends who is white got married to a very nice young black man and my mom was sewing her wedding dress. She came over with her fiance to pick up the dress and my little sister came up to Jenn (another one) and Derrick and told them that they were wrong and Jenn should not marry Derrick because he was black and that it was bad and daddy's don't like that. I fear that my sister will grow up with these lies, that she learned at the age of 4, in her heart and it scares me.

Raising Respectable Children -

Although elementary school students may seem too young for assignments about prejudice and discrimination, even young children are capable of understanding issues of fairness and favoritism. Studies have found that children show in-group preferences and favoritism as early as age 3 or 4, and that racial and gender stereotyping which follows soon after. To teach young children about prejudice, we future teachers should consider ways to have them imagine life from other points of view. From an early age, children can be taught to take the perspective of others, empathizing with those who are disadvantaged and taking action to correct social wrongs.

My thoughts on the topic, somewhat related:

My boyfriend believes that he is not "good at" reading/writing/language related subjects. It is true that the English language is not his strongest area of knowledge, but he is generally very intelligent and is capable of understanding anything.

I found out recently that he had a speech impediment when he was little. He had a lot of speech therapy, and can speak just fine, and makes fun of it frequently. I can't help but wonder, though, if that contributed to his belief that he is not good with linguistic-related subjects.

Maybe. I saw a speech therapist in elementary school and people still say I write and talk ... "different", despite excelling in many language courses. This is why I stand by Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences, as Mandy brought up Thursday.

If you are talking about a 6 year old I dont really think they can understand certain biases or labeling. They are just leanring how to read and write so I dont see how they could infer something from a statement like "you write well". Children this young can notice differences but I dont think they quite understnad what those differences mean or dont mean. Of course like someone mentioned earlier a lot of it has to do with the parents. Parents can tell children not to play with certain children because they are poor or of a different race but those children arent really thinking for themselves. They are just doing what their parents told them to do. Later when they get older this can transform into the kind of negative labeling and biases that people have.

I somehow missed Jennifer's story on here and wanted to respond because my family was in a similar situation but it had a good ending.

My cousin started secretly dating a guy at her school who was black. She kept it secret especially from her father -- my uncle -- because he was racist. Well ... she got pregnant and all hell broke loose. My uncle and my father ganged up against my cousin by shunning her and my the family, like her Mom -- my aunt --, feared defending her. After my cousin's son, Aaron, was born, the family began to change for the better. It was a slow change and I cannot pin point how it happened but it seems to me Aaron was just too lovable to hate. Now my uncle can't get enough of Aaron so my cousin flies him back to visit more often than she visits!

Perhaps my uncle and father accepted Aaron because they saw that he was a person much like themselves. If that was the process that changed their opinion of black people, then exposure to diverse races and ethnicities would be one way to integrate people; and hanging about black or Hispanic people would be something that racist people avoid.

First of all, I must say I was very touched my Jennifer Gray's story. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story with us, your peers.

In response to the opening question, children are plagued and often damaged at a very early age by labels given to them by others. Children are as often, if not more affected than are adults when it comes to negative and condescending labels. The mentality, along with the views and morals brought before our children stick with them, often throughout the course of their lives. As Jennifer G. mentioned in her previous post, her very young niece has already been told to stay away from persons of the african american race. Is it not true that this will stick with her for a long time to come? It's a very sad situation. In any case, I commend people like Jennifer who stand in the face of adversity and speak out against negative labeling.