So I came home today for fall break and stopped by my boyfriends house, which is in a very small community, to hear shocking news. His little brother is in 6th grade. He loves school, he loves to read, and is VERY intelligent. For the past two days he hasnt wanted to go to school. His mother was worried why, and this morning she recieved a phone call from his teacher asking if something was wrong with him. His mother replied that she didnt know what was wrong with him. Well, later that afternoon, his mother recieved another phone call from a family friend whose daughter is in the same class with him. The daughter had told her mother that while the teacher was out of school due to an illness, the substitute had told him that he was adopted. He told all his classmates that he was going to run away, which is why the daughter told her mother what had happened.

Yes, Dakota is adopted. His parents gave him up right after birth and my boyfriends parents took him home from the hospital. They have chose not to tell him about this because his brother has been in a lot of trouble, has been sent off to jail, and is just now getting better and getting his feet on the ground with himself and his family. They had decided to tell him sometime after Christmas. Most of the older people in the community know about this, only because of the small population and word-traveling.

As a teacher, we all have sick days. What would you do if, while you were out, the substitue had told one of your students this? What if they threatened to run away? What if they decided they didnt want to be active in school anymore? How would this make you feel?

Does anyone have any opinions?

That is pretty crazy and a really hard spot for the parents I am sure. I dont know how I would get my child to become reactive in school. It's hard for the teacher too. I heard the NC teach of the year talk last week and she was talking about how much she missed her kids and you could just tell how important her students were to her and the protective way she spoke about them. So I'm sur eit will be hard for this teacher to have had her class shaken up like this. While I'm sure or at least hope the sub meant no harm it still created a very difficult situation that has to be solved before he can reengage himself in school. I would feel upset because I want to protect my students and create an environment that is safe for them and where they can be themselves. This is an example of one of the many different problems that can occur as a teacher that really have nothing to do with the material or anything else.

Well first as the parent I would hunt down that substitute and smack her in the face. That is none of her business revealing information like that. As parents you reveal that information to your children..That is your choice to tell or not to tell..NOT the subs or anyone elses. That is def. putting the parents on the spot. As the teacher in the class room I would let the principal know. I mean this seems like a life changing situation. What would have happened if the boy really would have ran away and something happened? That sub would have been the cause of it all. I believe if the sub is going to upset children like this then she does not need to be subing for schools. The principal should be aware of the situation and decide what to do with the sub. With my class I dont know what I would do. Not avoid the situation but try not to make a big deal about it either? I think it might make matters worse with the adopted kid talking about it with everyone? What does everyone else think?

PS. I prob really wouldnt smack her in the face but I would ask her what the heck she was thinking....

Where in the world did that sub think she got the right to break news like that to a student? I don't care how small the town is, or even how well she knew him...that was definitely not her right or her place to say something like that.

I can't possibly imagine coming back to my classroom after a couple sick days and finding out something like that had happened. With the way things are today, though, I guess I should be prepared for the worst. Building back up a relationship with this child would be very important to me. Even though it was not at all the teacher's fault, I can see how that student may come to resent his teacher for what happened, because after all, if he/she hadn't been sick, none of it would have happened. Because the whole class obviously knows the situation, I think it should probably be addressed to the class as a whole. Take the opportunity as a "teachable moment." Talk to the class about adoption, and how it's not a bad thing at all, it's actually a really great thing! Talk about different kinds of families. It might also be a good chance to talk about using discretion with your words and conversations, as the sub certainly should have done. (Of course it might be a good idea to get some kind of permission from the student and maybe the parents too before discussing anything in any kind of detail with the class)

that is insane. I come from the same sort of town where stuff like that happens a lot. Substitutes are professionals too and I think they should act just the same way that a teacher does --- PROFESSIONAL. It isnt professional to say stuff to students, parents, or administration about personal things, But what can be done? I have no solutions..

Wow, that is crazy. What a horrible way to find something like that out...First off I think this substitute should no longer be able to substitute because that is completely inappropriate. I can't imagine coming back to my classroom and dealing with a child that had to go through with that. I guess the only way to prevent something like that would to already inform the substitute prior to this not to say anything, but then again, as a teacher I know I wouldn't even assume that this would have been an issue. I guess there is really no way to prepare yourself for everything you are going to face as a teacher. It is a very sad situation and I just hope the young boy is going to be okay.

I cannot believe that this is a true story! Who in their right mind would think this was acceptable?!?! I definitely think this substitute should be held accountable for this. I am not sure what could be done, but the substitute should definitely never be asked to work again.

Do you think the substitute knew that the boy DIDN'T know he was adopted? She may have thought he already knew. This is an important clarifying question.