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I was just driving to my apt from dinner a minute ago and I was flipping through the stations on the radio and there was a song that caught my attention. The name of the song is "Alyssa Lies." lyrics --> http://artists.letssingit.com/lyrics-al ... -4p8rvfx#p After hearing the song I got to thinking what would I do as a teacher if this student, "Alyssa," was in my classroom, I know I would be more pro-active in a case like this. I thought to myself I wouldn't know what to do if I lost a child in my classroom and started to imagine how hard it would be for the students in the class. Some situations at home are things that we as teachers can not help but I am curious how can we be pro-active in times like this? What are things that you would do to prevent something like this from happening?


Wed Feb 28, 2007 7:00 pm
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I'm scared to think of finding myself in a situation with a student lke "Alyssa." I want nothing more than to help a child coming from a broken and abussive home. However, I often wonder how to draw the line between signs of physical abuse and cuts and bruises from being just a kid. I'm not sure that I am comfortable in deciding whether or not I believe a kid is being abused. What if you're wrong? I remember in a past class of mine a student shared his experience when a teacher falsely accused his mother of physical abuse against his little sister. The ordeal was terrible and included several visits from social workers, in the end it was deamed his mother had not been abusive BUT everyone still treated her like she had committed those crimes. It is just a huge responsibility.

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Chelsie Alfaro


Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:10 pm
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I am glad you share my same response. I am also scared of finding myself in that situation. I want also to help those children from a broken home but I am also worried were to draw the line. I am becoming a teacher so that I can make a difference in children's life! I couldn't imagine being that teacher who falsely accused the students mom...what a horrible situation and outcome. It's scary to think of all the things we will have to deal with other than our daily agenda's.


Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:10 pm
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I think that it is very important that we teach kids about these kinds of issues, age appropriately of course. In my health class we are continuously talking about health prevention and the need to educate children about issues before they happen so that they know what to do when the situations arise. If we teach children the signs of abuse and that they need to let a responsible adult know if they know of someone being abused or are being abused themselves then hopefully we can prevent it going any farther.

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Elizabeth McPhail Dawson


Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:35 pm
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I worked with the organization OASIS last year for a service-learning project and they do a wonderful presentation at the schools each year about sexual, emotional and physical abuse. They bring it to light in a way that is great for little kids. They introduce "safe friends" like your teacher, pastor, principal, nurse, doctor, etc...that might be able to help you out in a bad situation. I think it is a phenomenal program that should be used in every school to reinforce that even small kids can get help. That song is so sad but things like that do happen. I worked at a day camp after my freshman year at App and we were swimming in the pool one day and one of my kids said to me, "Miss Brooke, I really miss my daddy" and I said, "oh hunny you will see him soon it will be ok" and then he said, "i don't wanta die soon though" and I knew then that I didn't know the full story. I went over and asked his cousin who was a little older and I asked her "what happened to your uncle" and she burst into tears and told me that he was killed about 3 months earlier. Come to find out he had been shot during a gang fight. He had tried to stop these young boys from fighting and he got in the way. In fact 3 of my other campers that summer were impacted by this shooting and lost family members. It was a hard issue to deal with, and I wish I had known at the beginning of the summer. But it taught me a lot, and you can only be pro-active in situations and also make sure to choose your words and questions carefully.

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Thu Mar 01, 2007 10:59 am
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I know the song you are talking about. The first time I heard it I think I cried. It is such a sad song, but so true. So many things like this happen everyday in schools and it goes unnoticed until it is too late. My roommate is a Social Work graduate from ASU and she was talking about how it reminded her of DSS. There are more professions than just teaching that encounter situations like this. I think as teachers it is our responsibility to find out about our students and their home lives. I think we should as questions and tell them to answer only if they feel comfortable, and make sure to be trustworthy and someone they can talk to. It's all about providing that "safe environment" like we talked about earlier in the semester. I think that we will definitely encounter stuff like this in our profession.

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Rachel Tyler


Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:21 pm
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I also think this is where providing a "safe environment" in schools pays off. A safe “classifiedâ€

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Robert Chase Glenn


Thu Mar 01, 2007 3:38 pm
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I happened to listen to country music all the time. "Alyssa Lies" brings tears to my eyes each time I hear it. I always think to myself, "God, please do not give me a student who goes through this much pain at home...what will I do?" If I ever experience a student who dies due to abuse at home...I will just fall to pieces. My sister happened to have a time where the Dept. of Social Services came out to investigate the abuse they thought she performered on her daughter. My sister has never gave my niece bruises, beatings, etc. Needless to say, she was furious for the assumptions. My niece happens to bruise easily and when they asked her how she got those bruises she'd tell them, "I got them at home." She didn't mention that she got them by playing or anything so I could see where the teacher may have gotten this idea. I happened to be furious too because I thought teachers shoudln't make any assumptions but I was wrong. I would rather make the assumption and have a furious parent than have a child who is left behind to suffer in the home. "Alyssa lies with Jesus because there's nothing that anyone would do." I do not want to live this statement. The fact that the father found out over a weekend. Oh my gosh. Time cannot be wasted throughout a situation like this. This song and "Concrete Angel" by Martina McBride are songs that teachers need to keep in mind when seeing signs of what might be an abused child.

http://www.lyrics007.com/Martina%20McBr ... yrics.html

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Jessie Carrigan


Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:28 pm
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I also wanted to share that not all abused children die at a young age. Children can be abused as a young child and then can affect them later on in life. I had a friend that was abused during her childhood. I spent the night with her once and her mother whooped her with belt repeatedly because she would not eat at the dinner table. I was shocked. But I did not know what to think because when I was a kid, I was never whooped and I knew that some parents whoop their kids. I thought maybe this is what a family looks like who does whooping as a form of punishment. Needless to say, I was glad that my parents did not give me the treatment Lisa got. I did not go home and tell my parents because I thought it might have been normal and I was a kid and did not know any better. During high-school, Lisa had a hard time. I am not sure if she was abused then. Our friendship kind of faded due to never having the same classes. Lisa always took standard classes and had a hard time in those alone. I found out last year that she committed suicide. I cried for a long time because I really think that her abuse as a child had something to do with that. It is proven that abuse can lead to things like this. I kept telling myself, I should have done this and I should have done that. To me, the only good thing is that Lisa lies with Jesus and is no longer suffering. As a teacher, I must stay aware of what goes on at home and what I notice (bruises, etc.) that could link to abuse.

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Jessie Carrigan


Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:35 pm
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I also listen to country music all the time. I've heard that song 100's of times and it still gets to me every time I hear it.

I was listening to the radio announcer one day after the song was played and she was speaking about a GA teacher that played the song to her students one day in class. She told them if they needed to talk to her or tell her anything about their home lives that she was there and would help. I can't remember the exact number of students that approached her about being abused but it was a large amount. It really shocked me. I thought it was a very neat way to communicate with students about issues like abuse without making them feel uncomfortable.

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Alyse A. Bowden


Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:42 pm
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I think that is such a touching song. I actually went to a seminar recently where a social worker came to talk to us about when teachers can intervene in situations where abuse is taking place in the home. Her advice to us was to take a situation like this to the guidance counselor. From there, the guidance counselor can take it to a social worker if necessary. If teachers try and get too involved in a situation like this, they could get in a lot of trouble. I do feel like it'd be okay to ask the little girl or boy like "Alyssa" how they got the bruise on their arm or ask how they hurt themselves. Sometimes, children will tell you exactly what happened and it may have honestly been an accident. Even if a child doesn't tell you exactly what happened to them, their face and body language could tell you a whole lot of information about what could've happened.


Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:16 pm
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I think it is important for us to consider that the child may want to talk to YOU, because they know you, not to the counselor, who is often a complete stranger.

In addition, teachers are mandated by law to report suspicion or knowledge of child abuse. You must call the police (when I did this, I called 911), or you can call Child Protective Services, which is a division of the Department of Social Services in each county. I reported a case of sexual abuse that had been going on for approximately 10 years. In each of those years, the young girl had tried to tell her teachers, but the teachers chose to turn a blind eye to her plight.

Here is a summary of the NC law:

[quote]North Carolina’s reporting law applies to every person and every institution in the state. It requires “[a]ny person or institution who has cause to suspect that any juvenile is abused ,neglected, or dependent, as defined by G.S.7B-101, or has died as the result ofmaltreatmentâ€

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Gayle Turner


Tue Mar 20, 2007 11:14 am
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