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Mandy_Roberts
Semi-pro
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2007 11:51 am Posts: 24
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Last week in class we were discussing male roles in the home and how many times they feel that stress of "bringing home the bacon." And women are expected to take care of the house and children, but what happens when those roles are switched? Or when the man is making considerably less money than the woman in the home, how does that affect the relationship?
In my personal life, I remember a time when my father was the president of a medical suplies company and he was making plenty of money for us to live comfortably. But my family was miserable when he was doing this because he was living in a different state and we only saw him on Saturday and Sunday. My mother struggled raising three young kids alone. And when my father came home on the weekends he was exhausted and treated us like his employees rather than his family. He has recently quit his job because it was negatively affecting his health and he has bought a garden nursery in Raleigh. He is much happier, healthier, and nicer all around, but at the same time he is making significantly less salary wise. So for girls we are told to "marry rich" but in my life I believe that marrying happy is much more important. How does everyone feel about this concept and do the guys feel that they are expected to make lots of money in order to take care of their families?
_________________ Amanda Jill Roberts
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Sat Mar 31, 2007 12:44 pm |
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Brandon_Fiedor
Semi-pro
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:03 am Posts: 25
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I think although women are more and more excepted and "welcomed" in the workplace, traditional attitudes have not changed much in the past 50 years. As we all know, women in the workplace are paid much less than their male counterparts and women in general are still held as sexual tools in our society. So to a certain extent, I believe that the idea of a woman at home and a man in the office is still a very popular belief whether our society expresses it or not. I really dont understand the hang up men have about not earning as much or more, monetarily, as their women. What I despise even moreso is the idea of these split and separate responsibilities in a household. I think a husband and a wife should take part in everything, equally. No wonder 50% of marriages end in divorce and so many kids come from broken homes.
_________________ Brandon J Fiedor
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Sun Apr 01, 2007 7:22 pm |
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Angela Terry
Semi-pro
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:52 pm Posts: 24 Location: Boone
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I think the idea of marrying rich is ridiculous. I don't care how much money the person I marry has as long as they are happy and work. It may sound mean that I really want my husband to have a job but with me teaching it is going to be hard for me to support a family alone. That doesn't mean they need to make a huge amount of money but enough for us to pay our bills.
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Thu Apr 12, 2007 7:59 pm |
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Robert_Glenn
Semi-pro
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:45 pm Posts: 24
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"Stay at home" fathers are still viewed as bums in my opinion. I know countless examples of families growing up where you would hear things from mothers and fathers alike, along the lines of "I can't believe my daughter, she married a no-good" or "he's just milking her for the money". Even though their son-in-laws with jobs might be mindless apes, these members of the family are more respected for being the "male bread-winner". This is just another one of those imbedded social values people are going to have to kick.
_________________ Robert Chase Glenn
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 12:34 pm |
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Brooke_Newsome
Semi-pro
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2007 4:18 pm Posts: 26
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I baby-sit for a family and the father is a stay at home dad. That household is very insteresting to enter as an outsider. The mother is a leading Economist at Duke University and the father went to college and grad-school for a degree in Engineering. He does some consulting out of the home, but does not bring in much money that way. His full time job is to take care of their 6 month old boy, 2 year old girl and 4 year old boy. I want to just give him a round of applause when I see him because he works his butt off to take care of those children 24/7. The mother is teaching or researching all the time. She wears the pants in the relationship to say the least. He does the yard work and grocery shops, changes diapers, takes them to day care and birthday parties. Yet he does a great job and loves it. It has hard as an outsider to understand how that family works, but it does, he is happy, the mother is happy, the kids are happy. I think that a father can be a stay at home dad and keep the family going just as well as if he was making the money.
_________________ ~Brooke Newsome~
"When I fed the hungry, they called me a saint. When I asked why people are hungry, they called me a communist"
-Dom Helder Camara-
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 1:21 pm |
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sam_kirkpatrick
Semi-pro
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 5:29 pm Posts: 24
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man i want to be a stay at home dad.
_________________ Samuel Reeve Kirkpatrick
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Sun Apr 15, 2007 4:45 pm |
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jessie_carrigan
Semi-pro
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 7:34 pm Posts: 29
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You should marry for the happiness reason. I find stay at home dads awesome but I personally would want to marry someone that works just like me. My mom was a housewife and my dad was a truck driver. And yes believe me, both of them are "jobs." So do not think that I think stay at home dads are jobless. I just think it is important for children to see their parents an equal amount of time. Not one parent more than the other. Also, the one working outside of home would more likely have to work longer hours in order to finacially support the household. I just would want to see my family more often so why not marry someone that feels the same way? This is just my personal opinion. And honestly, finance reasons are important. Yes, you should marry someone for happiness but I personally know that money gets tough when the person supporting you passes away. I have told myself that I did not want to have that lifestyle. My dad working long hours drove him to the ground and my mom being a housewife done the same. So I think they should split the inside and outside jobs. But I will always hold respect for those who are like my parents.
_________________ Jessie Carrigan
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Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:56 pm |
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Sara_Marshall
Semi-pro
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:25 am Posts: 27
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I definitley agree that you shouldn't marry just for money, but the thing that I have always wondered is how long will you be happy if you're constantly struggling for cash? I know that there are exceptions and many people probably look down on my point of view, but entering the teaching profession I'm not checking out the guy behind the McDonald's counter. I want to be able to provide for my future children (way way future) and give them the things my parents were able to give me. In my family both of my brothers are making less than their wives, and neither of them are being bums. I don't think that there is any problem with the wife being the breadwinner!
_________________ Sara G Marshall
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Mon Apr 16, 2007 10:36 pm |
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William Byrne
Semi-pro
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:50 am Posts: 24
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I think it is ridiculous to marry someone for their money. I think this is one of the main reasons the divorce rate is so high. Do I feel like I need to make a lot of money to take care of my family? No, both of my parents are teachers and I have two brothers, and our family has not struggled. I know females that go to this school that have blatently said they are here to find a man who will make a lot of money so they can stay at home, and that pisses me off. I agree with Brandon, I think husband and wife should share all responsibilities equally, financially and around the house.
_________________ William Byrne
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Tue Apr 17, 2007 3:20 pm |
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Erin_Nevitt
Semi-pro
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:06 pm Posts: 24
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One of my room mates has an interesting situation in which her dad is a first grade teacher and her mother works for an insurance company. Her dad also plays the more traditional roles of cooking dinner and doing laundry. I do think that in an ideal situation, the workload would be shared 50/50 but I think it is more important to divide work by what one is good at/ enjoys. I am not a very clean person. I absolutely love to live in clutter. However, I realize that one day if I have a husband and family it will be more important (and safer) to live in a less cluttered environment. I will do my best to accomodate this, but I hope that I can find someone who will pick up on my slack in this dept. as I may pick it up in another one like cooking or doing dishes. I think compromise is key in any and every relationship. I won't marry for money because I am independent enough to support myself... and who said we had to get married?
_________________ Erin Nevitt
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Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:48 am |
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