well I really enjoyed the Dorothy Allison article that we read for 2/6/07 --- I grew up in a really small town, Maiden -- I have lived there all my life and have never changed schools -- my friends in elementary school were my same friends in high school -- I always wondered what it would be like to be the new kid at a school and was wondering if anyone had been through what she had -- not the abuse, etc.. -- just the moving in the middle of the year and trying to make friends and somewhat of a name for yourself at the new school -- thought it would be interesting to hear peoples stories about it -- if there are any -- let me know what you guys think ....

When I was in 1st grade my family moved to another county. I went from a really large city school to a small town country school. Even though I was just in first grade it still had a big effect on me. When I was in the city I didn't mind being myself, I was proud to be from my working class family. But when my family moved to the country it was a different story. I was the typical new kid but I am came into a classroom where a student had recently left. I don't know if his family moved or something happened to him but the other kids thought I was taking his spot. He was apparently a child everyone loved so it put a lot of pressure on me to live up to him. The hardest part was that I was no longer different. I was the little shy girl and I used to be the sweet white girl. I started to depend on my sister for everything because I was lost in this new world. Eventually, I let my sister talk for me, take me to class, take me to the bus, I stopped doing anything fot myself.
Looking back I am glad I moved. I think I got a better education and I really had to look at myself and figure out who I want to be.

I was fortunate enough to live in the same house my entire life. I also had the same friends all the way through highschool just as Rachel did. I think moving to a new city and being "the new kid" takes alot of confidence and courage. I found the Dorothy Allison article very interesting. I can't imagine going through the abuse that this women went through her entire childhood. What i found most interesting about this article is the reoccurring dreams that she had about the life she was "meant to live" if she didn't move. It's werid to think how different you life would be if you grew up in another town and had other friends. I think everyone wonders from time to time how they would have turned out if they didn't live in the town they grew up in.

When I was in 1st grade, my family moved from Tampa, FL to Raleigh. I really liked the school I went to in Florida, and it was really hard to leave my friends, as well as my teacher (the best lady in the world). We moved in April, so there were only a few months of school left in the year. The school I began attending in Raleigh was very different from the one I was used to. The children weren't very nice to me, and I got in trouble with the teacher for things I didn't realize were "against the rules." I remember misunderstanding her instructions one day and having my name taken off the "good citizens' chart" for a week, which was a huge deal to me at the time (especially since it was the week of the parents' open house). I cried every afternoon when I came home because the children continually excluded me. Basically, it was pretty rough. I really thought that everyone in North Carolina was mean. I finished out the school year there, but I went to another school in the fall. Things were a whole lot better the next year, and now I am definitely very glad that my family moved to NC. That transition period was really difficult though. I really think the experience will make me more sensitive as a teacher, since I know how hard it is to adjust to a new school. It's not that hard to offer a word of encouragement or even a smile to a new child in the class. The new school that Dorothy Allison went to obviously encouraged her and helped her excel in her talents. She mentioned that it really made a difference in who she became. I think that is so important to remember as a teacher.

I completely agree with Amanda, what I found most interesting about Dorthy's article is the reoccurring dreams that she had about the life she was "meant to live" if she didn't move. The most satisfying fact is that she did become the person she was meant to be through these experiences. I never moved, always lived in the same neighborhood, always around the same people...that made it hard for me to really relate.

I feel the same way about wondering what it would be like to be that new kid. I think the kids who have to go through that end up being stronger in the end. These kids really have to put themselves out there. It is hard especially in a high school settings, to be the new kid. I know that this is not the case for all kids, but I think for most. Life is about taking chances and putting yourself out there. When we are kids we dont have a choice as to where we can live or what school we have to go to.

It was interesting to read Allison's story as well as Leah's. I really can not relate to how that would feel. I always tried to make the "new kid" in my class feel welcome. I am sure that some kids who came through the school, I never met or talked to though. It really takes a strong and brave person to go through all of that. I really think that its interesting to hear kids transitions and what it was like.

I had a really strange experience with moving. I was 12 years old, in the 6th grade, and we moved from Jacksonville, FL to Greensboro, NC three-quarters of the way through the school year. My first day of school was the first day of the last 9-week period. Actually, come to think of it...anybody who went to school in NC remember the March '96 blizzard? Well, apparently my first day of school was the day everybody went BACK after having something like three weeks off because of all that snow and ice. Bummer for me, huh?

Anyway, that was a weird time of year to be moving. I remember that my social studies EOG wasn't so hot that year because I'd spent 75% of 6th grade learning all about Florida history, and then wouldn't you know it but they're gonna go and test me on North Carolina history when I just got here?! No justice, man. None at all.

It's interesting that Leah and Charlene were both in 1st grade when they moved. Maybe that accounts for how the other kids behaved. Has anyone seen "Mean Girls?" Well, you know when they describe the various social scenes and they use the National Geographic theme to show how the different "tribes" interact with each other, etc. etc.? That's kind of how it was on my first day. Somehow the word spread that there was a new kid, and by lunchtime everybody was trying to check me out and see if they should "claim" me for their tribe. My name was "new kid" for the first 3 days of school. And I do mean "claim;" also by lunchtime, I'd heard from someone that a girl had allegedly claimed me and declared that I was off-limits from the other girls ("The new kid is mine," I think she said). This didn't make much sense to me, as I'd never met the girl before. But she was my first girlfriend in NC. The 12-year old gangsters, with their little pants hanging off their little 12-year old butts, tried to take me under their wing like, "It's cool, kid, you stick with us and you'll be fine." I think I was wearing red sweatpants, my Chuck Taylors, and a Charles Barkley shirt that day...I had long hair and was immediately the shortest kid in the 6th grade.

In Florida there had been "cliques," groups/circles of friends, but I swear to you that there had been nothing like what I encountered in NC. We had a social hierarchy, it's true. But you couldn't visually distinguish the groups and the ranks like you could when I moved to Greensboro. I had never seen "Freaks," "Thugs," "Jocks," "Preps," and "Nerds" before. And suddenly all of these groups were trying to figure out what to make of me. It was truly bizarre. If nothing else, I could tell right away that I was going to have to fit somewhere in this new school...anonymity wasn't an option after the buzz of my arrival. And I saw it happen like that several more times through the end of high school, several more new kids showing up and the social electricity causing a great stir for about a week, while everybody maneuvered the kid into his or her appropriate position, and then went back to normal.

This makes me think of the notion that moving is a chance to start over or to reinvent yourself in a new place. Middle school doesn't allow you the option to create yourself, should you move during that period. The kids are so obsessively clique-oriented that "who" you come to be in this new place is a matter of being placed--or maybe placing yourself, if you've got the knack--into the appropriate group of people, whose group identity will assimilate you, the anomaly, and make you comprehensible to everyone else. That's what it seemed like to me, anyway. Sort of like ability grouping, huh? Interesting.

In hearing these stories of people moving and changing schools, I have thought back to when new people came to my school. I have never changed schools, except for the transition into high school and then college. However, I remember that when there was a new person at school, especially if it was a girl, the different (girl) cliques would almost compete with each other to integrate this new person into their group first (the guys at my school never acted this way; it was only a female thing). In a sense, the new girl was instantly the most popular kid in the grade because everyone was swarming around her and being fake nice. Usually the "cool" group of girls would win and "claim" the new person, but before too long the new kid would naturally settle into a group that was more appropriate for their personality and style, and they would remain there. My school was very small, so I'm sure it wasn't the same at every place, but that is how I remember things to be when we got a new student.

Johnna--I'm interested to know how the guys reacted at your school when the new kid was a boy, if not in the same way as the girls. How did the girls react to new guys? How did the guys react to new girls? I wonder if there might be regional differences in how the "new kid" ritual plays out in schools. What about private schools? I think you're right, size probably plays a huge role in how people react to new students showing up.

Also, I just want to plug "Mean Girls" one more time and recommend it to everybody. It is hilarious. "Saved" is good as well, but I think I prefer Mean Girls. I sure do love me a good high school comedy, especially when it ends with the prom-speech-resolution and everybody comes together to dance when the credits begin to roll....

p.s. Billy Madison, 'nuff said.

I had a pretty interesting move to North Carolina as well. My experience was actually really similar to Doug's. I moved to Huntersville (basically Charlotte) North Carolina from Sarasota Florida my freshman year of high school and wow what a difference. Like Doug said, there were cliques in Florida but not like there are in the South. At North Mecklenberg I was basically made to feel as though I HAD to join a group. Like Doug, I didn't have a name - until I started dressing differently. I was the "new girl" who wore baggy skater clothes and I ended up feeling so ignored that I decided I was going to where a skirt and a nice shirt to see if anything different happened. I walked into class and everyone was like "OHHH hey! What's your name again? You look cute, sit with us... Blah blah." I went back to wearing my regular clothes and just settled on having only a few friends who, like me, didn't want to be labeled. Florida schools definetly felt like they had more freedom in terms of what you have to wear and act like to get certain friends. I still joke around about how I went home after my first day of classes and told my mom that I must have missed the memo that it was "pink shirt and skirt day" at North because almost half the girls had been wearing the same outfit.