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Tracy Rafferty
All-star
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:45 am Posts: 34
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We mentioned something briefly at the end of class that made me think of this. I have nothing against the "feminist movement", I fully support women that want to get out and climb the corporate ladder, enter into new fields, whatnot. Good for them. But when someone asks me what I want to do with my degree and I tell them that ideally what I want most is, when I get married, to be a stay at home mom, people often look down at me and make comments like "what a waste" or something similar. This drives me crazy because I don't do that and judge what they want to do, and it's not like someone is trying to force me to be "barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen", I just want to be able to stay home when I have children, to raise and instruct them myself, why is that a bad thing?
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Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:47 pm |
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Ben Hutchings
All-star
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:00 pm Posts: 31
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I don't think that that is a bad thing. My wife thought the same thing with the first child but after staying home for 2 years needed something else. It's not bad that this is what you want to do, but you may get burnt out.
_________________ Benjamin Hutchings
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Tue Apr 01, 2008 7:14 pm |
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Lauren Futch
All-star
Joined: Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:23 am Posts: 36
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I don't think there is anything wrong with what Tracy is saying, but I also think people need to realize that this is not every woman's dream. Some women would rather stay at home with their children and some would rather have a prominent career, and there is nothing wrong with either. In my opinion, the feminist movement has given women the CHOICE of what they would prefer to do, rather than expecting them to behave a certain way.
_________________ Merry Lauren Futch
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Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:20 pm |
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Meagan Crawford
Semi-pro
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:36 pm Posts: 24
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Tracy, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom. I think if it is truely what you want to do and what you are passionate about you should go for it. I don't think anyone has the right to tell you what you want to do is being a waste or anything like that. I'm glad that we now have a choice of whether we want to stay at home or work.
_________________ Meagan
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Sun Apr 06, 2008 8:00 pm |
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Kristi Edwards
Semi-pro
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2008 10:37 pm Posts: 26 Location: Boone, NC
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I totally agree with Lauren. The women's movement was not about making it so women HAD to go out and get a job and put their children in day care. It was about giving the CHOICE to women. The opportunity to say they could do either or and it would be alright. Without the choice their would only be one option. There may be a stigma in todays society that a stay at home mom is trapped into it, but that is not true. Tracey there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay home, more power to you.
_________________ Kristi Allison Edwards
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Mon Apr 07, 2008 10:26 am |
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gayle
Site Admin
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2002 4:05 am Posts: 404 Location: Appalachian State University
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What about a man being the stay at home partner? Is this difficult for the man? Many men would love to be able to stay at home and care for their children.
_________________ Gayle Turner
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Tue Apr 08, 2008 9:49 am |
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Ben Hutchings
All-star
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:00 pm Posts: 31
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I for one would love to stay at home but in todays society uneducated men are able to make more money than educated women, therefore I work and my wife is at home/part time job. I must work to sustain a family so the option of staying home is not there for me.
_________________ Benjamin Hutchings
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Tue Apr 08, 2008 1:17 pm |
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Halen Price
Newbie
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:19 pm Posts: 14
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Like everyone else has said, the feminist movement is not about putting women in a place above men or even deciding what women should or should not do for a career. It's about equality. It's about making sure that everyone has access, despite gender expression, to the professions or lives that they wish to have. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a stay at home mom, and you can easily do this and still be a feminist.
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Tue Apr 08, 2008 1:31 pm |
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Caitlin Troutman
Semi-pro
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:49 pm Posts: 24 Location: Boone
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I concur with what has been said about the feminist movement and stay-at-home moms. I will openly admit that I am not a strong feminist simply because I don't know enough to claim that. However, I do know enough to know that the feminist movement is about giving women the choice to do what the feel is right for them with their lives. If they feel that that is to stay at home then so be it or if they decide to conquer the world in a leap and bound then so be it. I find nothing wrong with stay-at-home moms although I certainly do recognize that there is unfortunately a stereotype that follows it around. Many picture stay-at-home moms as sittin on the couch watching soap operas all day until its time to drive the kids to soccer practice. This is so obviously not the case but I think the stereotype is so prevelant that it is going to be hard to conquer. I think that if you want to be a stay-at-home mom then go for and screw the people that are trying to dictate and judge what you want to do with your life. If those people want to be "out in the workplace" so bad-have at it.
In answer to Dr.Turner's question...I think it is tremendously hard for a man to be the stay-at-home dad. They not only have to overcome the social norm of the woman being at home but they also have to tolerate and overcome judgments from their fellow men because staying at home is still not seen as the "manly" thing to do. If there is such a big push for women to be able to do what they want, why can't a man do what he wants?
_________________ Caitlin Troutman
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Tue Apr 08, 2008 7:51 pm |
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Shane Dagenhart
All-star
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:22 pm Posts: 49 Location: Boone, NC
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I wouldn't rule out being a stay at home father, there's nothing wrong with that in any way, but I personally have goals and dreams in my life and future accomplishments that I want to achieve (essenitally for the betterment of my future family) so this wouldn't be a real option for me. Every family is different and so are their situations and needs. As long as the child(ren) has a loving, caring, and attentive parent at home then that's what really matters. If my wife makes more money than me or has such a large income that I should be the one manning the household, I can clean the heck out of a house and would be proud doing it. Breaking those stereotypes of the household and a woman's place in this world is still changing and growing. With day care expenses getting higher and higher, it's making it tough for families to stay afloat financially and providing for the general daily welfare for their children. It doesn't matter who's staying at home with the kids or working part-time, as long as you are being a good parent and doing some type of work/aid with your families changing state. I love football, I have played it since I was five and can't wait to start coaching high school ball next fall. But, I know there will come a time when I want to start a family and balancing my family life, with my teaching life and coaching career will force me to make choices and sacrifices for those I love and what I love.
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Wed Apr 09, 2008 8:39 pm |
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Ryan Dunlevy
Semi-pro
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:30 pm Posts: 24
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I would love to be a stay at home dad. I feel that if you are at a place in life where you can live comfortably off of one salary so that either you or your spouse can stay at home with your children, you should definitely take advantage. I honestly feel that there are few blessings in this world as miraculous as having a child, and I personally would jump on the chance to stay at home and raise my child.
_________________ Ryan Dunlevy
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Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:46 pm |
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Nadia Rubio
Semi-pro
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:30 pm Posts: 25
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I know who you feel when people respond negatively to what you want to do with you life Tracy. When i tell people that I am a B-K major the first response i get is "what is that?" Its frustrating and i find it more of an opportunity to educate people about my major and to let them know that its not just about working in a daycare. If you want to be a stay at home mom and if it makes you happy then do it. Being a stay at home mom is an important job. Don't worry about what others think. I admire the stay at home fathers out there. I think that it is an uncommon thing for some people to hear about but this might become more common later on. I think its great for a dad to show that much support and love to not only his children but to his wife as well.
_________________ Nadia Rubio
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Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:18 pm |
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Jessica Smith
Semi-pro
Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:22 pm Posts: 24
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I think that there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mother or father. I feel that when I have children, I would love to have the opportunity to stay at home and raise my children. I think that women staying at home is still somewhat controversial, but men staying home really seems to be controversial.
_________________ Jessica Smith
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Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:47 pm |
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