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Today in class scared me a little. I would want to make the best decision for my child, and I would want to let them decide if they were a boy or a girl. However, I definitely don't know how I would do that. How would I dress the child, and what would I tell people it was? I really want to here some suggestions because four percent is a lot!!!!

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Jessica Layne Caldwell


Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:09 pm
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It's hard to say because with an issue like this it is all up to the parent/you. I think that we should love our children the way that they are and accept them for whatever they want to be. Why not just dress them in gender neutral clothes until the time that they decide what they want to do/wear. And who cares what people think? You don't have to tell anyone anything that you aren't comfortable with! This is something that I am trying to convey to my roommate. Life is about being happy and you have to do what makes you happy/comfortable! And the same goes for a/your child even if they are intragender. It is hard to say, about topics like this, until one is in the situation. This also isn't something that society knows/talks about a lot so it does not have the best connotation to it, in peoples eyes...
I don't know, I agree with you Jessica. This is a hard topic to put a finger down on what you would/should/want to do....

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Emily.V.Wells


Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:26 am
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I have no idea what I would do either. It would be a bad situation. It would be something that I would have to sit and think and pray on. It isn't normally our jobs to pick the sex of the child so it would be a big decision. I would hate to pick one, and it be the wrong choice. Shew! I just hope I don't ever have to make that decision.

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Rebecca Mccollum


Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:12 pm
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I don't think it would be right to make a decision at birth to make your child be a boy or a girl. I guess I mostly agree with Emily, you really would just have to love and accept your child, because whether he is she or she is a he, he/she is still your child, a product of hopefully a lot of love between two committed people.

Practically if I was in this situation I would probably give my child a gender neutral name like Riley, Jordan, Joey, etc. Let him/her then decided as they go through like what they want to be and always tell him/her that they are not weird or strange, but that they are extra special and that I love him/her and that God loves him/her. But that would just be my personal belief; I would always try to keep it in perspective because there are much worse things that can happen to your child than have two sex organs. Although in a society obssessed with normalcy, it might seem like it is the worst thing in the world, but it's not.

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Kayla Danielle Keidel


Sat Apr 04, 2009 12:47 pm
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But how is the child supposed to choose a gender to identify with before they even know what gender is? Even from a young age, children identify with one gender or another. Can you really expect them to grow up, comfortable with being both male and female, not really knowing which side to identify with? They will be shunned and made fun of by their peers. I think it might actually be kinder to choose a gender for the child at birth instead of letting them grow up in frustration and uncertainty.

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Dustin King


Sun Apr 05, 2009 10:17 pm
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I think that if a child choses to come into the world from the nonphysical into a body that has both sexes associated with it than it should be allowed to express whatever part of that sexuality it choses as it becomes an adult.

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Christopher M. McKinney


Tue Apr 07, 2009 9:21 am
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have no idea what I would do! It is an akward/bad situtation to be in. I would have to think about what i was going to do and how it would affect the child. This is a critical desision in a childs life and im not sure there is a right answer. i sur ehoep i am never faced with a desision like this.

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Molly K Maness


Wed Apr 08, 2009 1:19 pm
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so I don't know what I would do either, but I was just thinking and this might seem a little radical but maybe I would just pick a sex for the child to stick with and then let them grow into who they are.

A person's spirit, the essence of who they are is contributed to by their sex but certainly not defined by it. I think that making a decision and then just loving and encouraging your child with everything you've got is just as beautiful as waiting so that "they can decide." A person who is loved and encouraged and supported will be able to come into who they are. Maybe we'll "miss it" and make them have the "wrong sex" for them. but maybe not. Everything happens for a reason, even you being the parent happened for a reason. I really think that any identity crisis a multi-gendered child might have would not stem from someone choosing the wrong sex for them, but instead from feeling unloved and confused about who they are. So I say choose a sex and love the hec out of them.

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Jessie Stafford


Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:47 am
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I missed class on this day...and wow these are some complex, confusing issues...i wished i would have came to class! I've been so interested in this subject ever since I watched a program on hermaphrodites.

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Candace Powell


Thu Apr 09, 2009 9:33 am
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I'm not sure how you would address that. In a way I would want my child to decide for themselves but then what was said earlier how would you know how to dress them and would you tell them they were a girl or a boy? I guess if they had more boy parts then I would just treat them that way??? I'm not sure...

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Kathleen Dahl


Fri Apr 10, 2009 11:20 pm
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Personally, if I was uncertain about my child's gender identity, I would dress him or her in non-gender-specific clothes. Some examples of non-gender-specific clothing would be overalls, button-down shirts, and sports-themes are very generic. And, I would use colors that are not gender-specific, such as green, yellow, blue, etc. I would not dress my child in anything pink, frilly, a dress, etc. Unfortunately, I believe that this would be a challenge, because stores often segregate the boys and girls into two different sections. Also, I believe it is easier to dress a girl like a guy (and just say that she's a "tom-boy"), than to dress a guy like a girl. In other words, I feel that to say that your child is a "tom-boy" is more socially accepted (Of course, I don't agree with this theory; I'm just stating it.).

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Ericka Griffin


Sat Apr 11, 2009 12:44 pm
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Thanks for all the feedback guys!!! It really is a tricky situation, and I still don't really know what I would do.

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Jessica Layne Caldwell


Sat Apr 11, 2009 2:20 pm
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I think its easy for all of us to sit back and say what we would do because we havent been faced with it. With that being said just off of what i think and not what i know i believe that i would have to raise the child as it was born with the age appropriate understanding of its situation and that when it was ready it could decide for its self what it felt like. i know this is easy to say and there would be so much to deal with besides this fairy tale explanation but thats how i feel now not having to deal with it

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Brandon Knox


Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:47 pm
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I agree with Brandon. There are too many circumstances to be able to make a definite decision now. I don't think that the clothes you would dress your child in would really matter until they got close to middle school. I would like to think that me and my spouse would agree to let the child decide for his/herself when they felt like a decision was necessary. But I agree, it is impossible to make that decision without experiencing it.

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Drew O'Keefe


Sun Apr 26, 2009 3:58 pm
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Brandon has a good point, we don't know how to truly handle a situation until we are faced with it. I don't think it would be a big deal as a child, but if my child was experiencing that kind of situation then I would try to be supportive as much as I could. But I'm unsure of how I would go about handling this type of situation.

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Patrick Watkins


Mon Apr 27, 2009 5:58 pm
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