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 Transgender help? 
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The video we watched today on transgender really made me think about one of my close friends. Although she is fully female, she was born with a rare disorder where she has no uterus, although she has every other female organ. She's come to me numerous times upset because she feels as if she is "intersex" (or so she calls it) because she cannot have children due to not having a uterus.

I was just wondering if you guys knew something that I could do/say to her to help her to see that she IS a woman, despite not having a particular organ. This has been a very difficult subject for me because as much as I want to, I really have no idea how to help my friend. Have any of you had to deal with a similar issue with someone you are close with? How did you help him/her?


Thu Apr 16, 2009 2:54 pm
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Hey Erin! I have a few suggestions! First, tell your friend that some women who have uteruses can't have children. Therefore, we (women) should not define ourselves based on our ability to give birth. Having been born with a rare disorder myself, I would suggest that your friend should go see a genetic counselor. Does your friend still have her ovaries, or does she have nothing at all? If she still has ovaries, she can still give birth through a surrogate mother. If not, she can adopt a child that is not hers, or she can adopt a child that her husband has conceived with the surrogate mother through artificial insemination. I found out all this information through this website: http://www.ivf.com/ch13mb.html

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Ericka Griffin


Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:08 pm
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Thanks Ericka! I will definitely be sure to mention those facts to her! As for the ovaries, she does have them and she has looked into a surrogate but unfortunately it is VERY expensive and she is a little worried about that. I know it is hard for her to completely feel like a woman right now, but I am hoping that in the future when she finally does get children, she will feel more like a mother and a woman.


Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:13 pm
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You're welcome, Erin! That's great that she still has her ovaries! I would still highly suggest that your friend should go see a genetic counselor. They provide much-needed information and options about giving birth. For example, the genetic counselors can give your friend information on whether or not her children could inherit the disorder. If her children's chances of inheriting her disorder are high (like mine is 50%), I would suggest artificial insemination. Through artificial insemination, doctors can pick out a healthy egg that does not contain the mutation (if her disorder is considered a genetic mutation), inject the egg with her husband's sperm cell, and then plant the egg in the surrogate mother. Of course, this is what I've been told because of my own situation. Again, I would go see a genetic counselor. They are very beneficial!

Also, according to the website that I provided, it says that if she has her fallopian tubes, she does not need a surrogate mother. She can save her money! :) Unfortunately, if she does not have them, she might want to consider a surrogate mother.

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Ericka Griffin


Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:47 pm
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I think we are so ready to define ourselves based on what we can do that makes up women or what society tells us we should be able to do. It's sad that we define ourselves so heavily on the archaic notion that we are truly women because we can birth children and that's where are ultimate worth lies. I would really tell your friend that she is a woman if she feels like she's a woman despite not being able to give birth. I think it's more mental than physical and if you feel like a woman then that's what you are, especially in your friend's case. I can understand her sadness over not being able to bear children but she should not view herself as anything less because of something she was born with and has no control over. Plus like Ericka has pointed out there are so many options out there now. Adoption is a huge one as well. There are so many children who are in desperate need of parents. She's lucky to have a friend like you though to remind her that her worth is not held in her ability or inability to bear children.

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Kayla Danielle Keidel


Sun Apr 19, 2009 12:09 pm
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From a man's perspective, if a man cannot impregnate a woman that does necessarily make him no longer a man. I could definitely sympathize with your friend's emotions about this issue however. Men with reproductive problems definitely can feel less masculine than those who are viral, but men are not defined by how viral they are but rather by their works and legacy that they leave among others.

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Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:06 pm
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I for one have functioning reproductive organs but do not intend to bear a child; I have since adolescence had a very strong conviction that I am meant to adopt, rather than produce children of my own. I certainly don't consider myself any less a woman just for not intending to use my uterus to have a baby--why should she feel less a woman when she wasn't even given the option? I still plan to be a mother and so could she, whether or not her kids have a genetic tie to her.

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Rachel Watson
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Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:27 pm
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