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 Is it ok to ask if a young child has a boy/girlfriend? 
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The question was brought up in class today about whether it was ok to ask a young child if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I am really stumped when it comes to this question. I know that my boyfriend has a younger brother that is 3 and he is asked that question and I have personally asked him that question not even thinking that maybe I shouldn't. I think children that young really don't understand what you are asking them i.e. they don't know what the terms boyfriend and girlfriend mean. So why would this be wrong to ask then? I think that if we always have to think about every word we use and every question we ask than children won't learn as much as they naturally do. Children learn a lot from listening to adults talk and I agree that there are some things we don't need to say in front of children, but this is a natural question to me and children learn the words boyfriend/ girlfriend, from listening to adults use them.


Tue Nov 18, 2003 1:00 pm
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I personally do not see anything wrong with asking little kids this question. I have never heard of a little boy having a boyfriend so I don't think that he would realize the implications of your question, or care that you asked it. You can't assume that a kid is homosexual, especially before they supposedly develop their sexual identity....it is a normal and unharmful thing to ask, in my oppinion.


Wed Nov 19, 2003 4:23 pm
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I don't see anything wrong with asking them this question, because if when you think about it, if you go along with the idea that people who are gay have always known that they would be then the question doesn't even matter. Personally I don't belive that, I belive that you make your own choices and you know why you made them and weather or not you like those choices you still have to deal with them. I just think that asking a 3 year old if he has a girl/boy friend is insignificant compared to scope of things.

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Kristen Billings


Fri Nov 21, 2003 1:09 pm
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I have to admit until recently I(within the past few years) I never said significant other. But, being the person I am I am correcting myself more and more saying do you have a signficant other instead of boy/girlfriend. I think that being up with the terminology is a good one. One that we all shoudl try to correct especially based on this topic we had in class. As for a three year having a significant other...instead of asking them if they have a boy/girl friend ask if they have a special friend until they fully grasp the idea behind boy/girlfriend. That way that understand that you understand that they have a special friend that they like to play with or hand out wtih.

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Rachel Lincoln


Thu Dec 04, 2003 3:05 pm
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I never really thought about whether or not it was right to ask little children whether or not they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. But in thinking about it, I think that it is inappropriate, not because it is biased toward heterosexual relationships, but because little three or four-year old boys and girls are not old enough to have boyfriends and girlfriends. Children at that age are still grasping the idea of who they are and how they fit into the world, not the opposite sex. Young children have playmate and friends, some may be more special than others, but it does not necessarily have to be a person of the opposite sex. It is probably questions like this that engrains the idea that you always have to have a boyfriend of girlfriend rather than cherishing every important relationship you have with any special person in your life.


Tue Dec 09, 2003 9:42 pm
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