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 Teaching "Teacher's Kids" 
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Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 6:34 pm
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Location: West Lenoir School of Technology
I am having a very difficult time dealing with a parent in my class. Normally it wouldn't be this hard, but the parent happens to be the teacher across the hall. This child has been labeled learning disabled with a severe case of dysgrafia. I have modified everything that I am supposed to but the parent keeps telling me that I expect too much out of her daughter. She said that she struggles at home. I do not have this problem in the classroom. I think that the biggest problem is the mother babies her too much and does not expect very much out of her. To add to the situation, the child spends one week with dad and the next week with mom (who has 4 other children). When the child is with dad she does wonderfully!!!!!!!! When she is with mom, she does AWFUL with her work. On many occassions, the mother seemed to have gone to everyone else instead of me when she had a problem with something that I was doing. I am so frustrated and do not know how to handle the situation anymore. What I want to say is quit paying so much attention to your boyfriend and worry more about your children. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do????? I am praying for May 28th to hurry up and get her. Now, since I am going down to 3rd grade next year, her son is going to be in 3rd grade. Our school tries to honor all parental requests for teachers and she wants her son to be in my classroom. Is there a polite way to say %*#@ NO????????? I would love to have her son but do not want to get anywhere remotely close to her again. It has been the worst parent that I have EVER had to deal with. Please help if you have any suggestions : )

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Amy Roop


Tue Apr 06, 2004 8:50 am
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Location: Bethlehem Elem.-Alexander Co.
Amy,
You are really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Staff parents seem to alway be a pain. I know that when Colston reaches kindergarten, I hope that I won't be a thorn in that teacher's side because I know what it feels like. I feel that since he is in your class, you are trying to meet his needs and the mom is just out of perspective. It must be difficult, and I don't have really any spectacular answers for you. Just hang in there and just be honest with the mother even though she works with you. I do sympathize with your situation. In another similar situation, I would go to my principal and say "no" and give justified reasons. Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Dawn Yount


Wed Apr 07, 2004 6:41 am
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Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 6:32 pm
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Location: Sherrills Ford Elem.
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I hope I'm not as big a pain to my son's teacher. I try not to be, but my oldest struggles a lot with organization and behavior. I feel like I'm down their too much, but want the best for and from him. It's hard to know when to back off. So many times I would love to come to his rescue/or just do the assignment myself (it'd be much, much, much easier). I know this is definitely not in his best interest, but I have a very hard time being part teacher, part wife, part mother, part grad. student, part nursery worker, part Sun. school teacher - I'm stretched too thin and most days do nothing to my full potential because I'm just tired.
Amy, maybe you should try being more straightforward with the mom. What's the worst that could happen? You're in a tough situation.

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Karen Darden


Wed Apr 07, 2004 7:46 pm
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Location: Happy Valley
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Amy, I know the situation. I can say that so far I have not had a problem with a teacher/parent. Last year I had a teacher's son but it went great. This year Dawn and I have 3 staff members children including her own daughter. So far so good. I agree with Karen. If you are having so many problems from this parent then you need to be straight forward with her. You are the teacher and you should have the support of your principal behind you.

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Jill Pippen


Thu Apr 08, 2004 9:44 am
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Location: Whitnel
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My son is in the fourth grade this year and right across the hall from me. I really try to leave him alone. I have given his teacher total charge of him during the school day. If there is a problem, his teacher tells me. Otherwise, I act like this is just another school year. I think as a parent, you have to come to terms with the fact that your child is not perfect even though you would really like him/her to be. I know that my nine year old son is going to get in trouble from time to time because he's got a big ol' mouth like his mom. I have to make an extra effort not to be a pain. The parent-teacher relationship must be strong in order to make a situation like this work. I don't blame you for saying no to the upcoming third grade son.

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Tami Carter


Thu Apr 15, 2004 3:50 pm
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Location: Boiling Springs Elementary - NC
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I'v been in Amy's shoes before. The comment about being very honest and up front with this mother is important. She needs to realize that student's live up to our expectations of them. Amy, you expect a lot and you get it from her. Maybe you could very tactfully tell the mom the same! The girl is probably playing a game with her mom at home!

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Rhonda Wood


Thu Apr 15, 2004 10:26 pm
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Location: Bethlehem Elementary
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This year I have a child in my neighbor's child in my class. I can't say that I have had any problems but it adds a little stress. I plan and teach with his mom and I always wonder what she is thinking. It has been a crazy year for me finishing graduate school and getting married. Luckily, she has confidence in me and is happy with how her children are doing. I have more problems with crazy parents that stop by in the middle of the day to see how their children are doing and interupt the whoel class. Any suggestion on how to handle those situations with out any hard feeling?

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Bridget Horn


Sun Apr 18, 2004 9:13 am
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Location: Glen Alpine Elementary
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Bridgett,

I have had this happen to me a couple of times. At the beginning of the year when I send out my letters to the parents I state in the letter that if they have questions or concerns to please feel free to call or come by, but only in the morning or after school because during school hours I am there for the children. If parents do come by I greet them, tell them I am not able to talk because I am working with the kids, and I either ask them to stay to observe/volunteer or I ask them to come back after school. So far the parents have been very understanding, but I am sure at some time there will be a parent that will want to keep me forever. At that point I am not sure what to do.

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Amber Higgins


Sun Apr 18, 2004 3:04 pm
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Location: Sawmills Accelerated
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The only thing to do is try to make the best of it. There is no alternative to having the child unless there is not room for the student. Not all parental request have to be honored. This may leave you an opening to avoid having to deal with this parent again. Talk with the people who make the classroom assignments. They may be will to place him in another third grade class. Good luck and remember always smile no matter how bad it gets.

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Stephanie Helms


Sun Apr 18, 2004 5:14 pm
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